because we have your pants (sara_wolf) wrote in house_mst,
because we have your pants
sara_wolf
house_mst

Warnings: Mpreg, and something so terrifying that no words can describe it. Also, while I don't normally advocate drinking, you might want to have one handy. 

Chapter Three

Cuddy said “Well if you are married you cant be in the same department so Forman is out as cancer head doctor and KayLee you can have that job.”

Foreman: As much as I'm sure Wilson's ex-patients were tired of me as their doctor, what makes the Sue more qualified than me?

Cameron: Blond hair, green eyes, perfect body, House's one true love. Haven't you been paying attention to the rest of the story?

KayLee said OK and House didn’t care because the office is right next door so he can see her almost all the time anyway. Maybe he will put a window in the conference room so he can look into her office all the time.

Wilson: You're going to put a window in a glass-walled office?

They got married at a very pretty church in New Jersey. All their friends were there (like 200) and House’s mom and dad and brother and all his cousins, but KayLee’s family wasn’t there.

Wilson: Since when do you have a brother?

House: The same place I got two hundred friends, apparently.

She wanted Chase to walk her down the isle.

Chase: I'll walk her down the isle. And then I'll drop her off the end of the dock to let her drown.

So House said “Where is your dad”? But he couldn’t see KayLee before the wedding so they had to talk on cell phones. KayLee said “My dad and mom don’t love me anymore” and then she cried alittle but House said “Oh baby don’t cry I love you and I’m going to be your family now. You only need me”.

Foreman: Isn't isolation one of the signs of an abusive relationship?

KayLee said “Oh your right sweetie. Go on so we can get married”.

Then they were married and had their party in the fanciest hotel with big crystal chandeliers. KayLee’s dress was pure white with little white pearls and lots of ruffle and bows. Her hair was shiny and bouncy on her shoulders and she looked more like an angel then ever. House couldn’t stop staring at her when he wasn’t kissing her cheek or dancing with her every dance real slow.

House: Bum leg. No dancing.

Chase and Cameron got engaged too and Forman and Cuddy did too even though he was black.

Foreman: *steam pours from ears*

House: Would you people stop trying to torch the hospital?

After the party they got in their big white limo to go to their honeymoon. House said “Do you want some champagne”? and KayLee said “Just one glass on this perfect night”. The bubbles were fuzzy and House was a little drunk when they got to their honeymoon hotel but he still carried her upstairs to their room. Which was almost a suite with its own refrigerator and everything.

House: Bum. Leg.

Wilson: Apparently KayLee's love regenerated the muscle you lost.

Then they kissed for a long time which was OK because they were man and wife and then he had knowledge of her.

Chase: Okay, even the most devout Catholics call it sex.

KayLee cried because its scary for a girl her first time

Cameron: Wimp.

but he held her close and kissed her tears away and said “Its ok we’re married now. And think if everything works out right maybe we just made our first baby! I hope so because you’re going to be a great mommy”.

Foreman: Sue Spawn! Make it go away!

KayLee said “Oh Gregg, you will be a great daddy for our children I hope I’m pregnant right now”. Then they hugged more. Then KayLee said “But I have something to tell you and please don’t be mad”. House said “I could never be mad at you, you are my perfect darling”.

House: I'm giving myself a cavity.

KayLee cried a little more just beautiful small tears and then she said “Gregg I have a terrible secret. But God has forgiven me and I hope you do too because you are my sole mate. You see I was a sinner before but threw the love of our Lord I became changed”.

House said “KayLee darling we are all sinners”.

KayLee said “But I had a special shame which was I used to be a man. (A/N !) And not only a man but a terrible jerk of a man who hurt you so much. I’m so sorry baby.”

Wilson: I never thought it would be possible to pervert slash like this.

Chase: *twitch*

House: You owe me ten hours.

House said “KayLee, what are you saying. You are gorgeous woman you can’t be a man.” KayLee said “I was a man but not any more. Jesus’s love showed me what I had to do to be pure and clean so I had surgery to take away my evil man parts and become the woman you could love. I used to be that jerk James Wilson but now I am my true self Mrs. KayLee House. Your love and the Lord’s have made me sweet and womanly just as I should be”.

*crickets chirp as everyone stares at Wilson*
Wilson: *headdesk*

House: But I like your evil man parts.

House was surprised. How could his perfect KayLee ever have been that jerk. He said “Your Jewish!”

House: I seem awfully accepting about this. Did you slip a mickey in my champagne?

KayLee said “Well I was but not anymore I took Jesus Christ into my heart and now I am a new woman and we can be together for always.”

House said “Oh baby that’s so great to have Him as your personal Savior. I just know He’s going to bless us with lots of babies and love for ever.” They kissed a lot again and went to sleep and in the morning even in the daylight he had knowledge of her again.

House: I demand that you give that poor woman you robbed her reproductive system back.

And nine months exactly later House and KayLee’s twin girls Alexandria and Kaygreg are born. KayLee quits her doctor job to stay home with them like every decent mother does and then one year later Gregg Jr is born and after that Melodee and baby Caden (boy). Everyday House feels so blessed that he has perfect children and a perfect wife. That jerk Wilson is still gone and dead forever - transformed by the power of Christ in to House’s true love, his beautiful angel Mrs. KayLee House.

Cameron: Kaygreg? What the hell kind of name is Kaygreg?

Chase: No remarks about the decent mother comment?

Cameron: I'm watching my blood pressure.

GHMDGHMDGHMDGHMD

A LOT LATER (A/N I don’t know if this part is called prolog or antilog or what)

Your one granddaughter’s graduation from medical school is real nice. (Your KayLee) She majored in diagnostition just like her Grandpappy and he is so proud of her.

House: No one calls me grandpappy and lives.

At the dance that night, Gregg sambas with you so fun

Everyone: NO DANCING!

(A/N Just like Hugh Lauire did in that Girl in Rio movie. He was so cute in that in the parts I saw and my dance teacher said his dance was real professional-like too) he dips you deep and kisses you and says “My sweet lady I love you so much” and you think how your life is so perfect and will be forever. The End.

Foreman: Your life's a freakin' fairy tale.

I hope you like! Read & Review or else! And no being mean like sometimes people do. I tried very hard.

Wilson: I'd hate to see what her writing's like when she's not trying.

A/N 2, The girl who helped me with spelling said Wilson’s eyes are brown so how can KayLee be him. Well duh in the surgery they changed the color to the prettier color green and also changed his hair color to blond. Also I forgot to put that KayLee is tall but House loves her anyway.

Chase: They're called contacts, author-person.

Cameron: And hair dye. Surgery can't change either of those things.

Foreman: So, the author insulted how many groups in the space of the story?

Wilson: Gays, blacks, Jews, working mothers, and tall people.

House: Amnesty International's going to have a field day with this one.

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